I Met a Bigot Today

Copying and pasting from the story I told some close friends immediately after the incident:

So I'm at the Panera Bread in San Francisco, between meetings and trying to catch up on other work. Amidst everything I'm doing, I'm on the phone discussing the recent comments by the San Francisco police chief regarding the threat posed by members of the Middle Easter community. Part of the conversation is a discussion about the word "terrorism." I said something to the effect of "terrorism is a loaded word," and a man in a booth near me stands up and looks at me. He sneared as he said, "no it's not" and walks away for a drink refill (or something).

After completing my conversation I was torn about what to do. Should I let him be? Should I try to engage him.

I was having an interesting day, so I decided on engaging him. I grabbed one of my CAIR business cards and headed to his table. It took me a few seconds to get his attention. When he looked up, his expression was hateful. He said, "I'm listening to Michael Savage, you need to leave." Undaunted I explained that I just wanted to give him my business card in case he wanted to have a future discussion. His response, "I don't want that. Don't leave that here."

I left the business card on the table nonetheless, and walked away.

The most unfortunate, and striking part of the interaction was the hateful way in which he looked at me. Call me crazy, but I've heard of people who look at other people hatefully simply because they exist as "different" people. I had never seen it first hand though.

Reminding Me of My Student Government Days...

For Immediate Release
UC Berkeley Student Senate Passes Divestment Bill in Response to Israeli Occupation

BERKELEY-- Thursday, March 18 2010

For the first time in the University of California history, the UC Berkeley Student Senate has approved a bill to divest from two US companies in response to the Israeli occupation of Palestinian territories and to Israel’s siege and bombardment of the Gaza Strip. The Senate bill directs both the UC Regents and the Student Government to divest from General Electric and United Technologies. General Electric manufactures Apache helicopter engines; United Technologies manufactures Sikorsky helicopters and F-16 aircraft engines. In addition, the bill creates a task force to look into furthering a socially responsible investment policy for the UC system.

Student Senator Rahul Patel supported the bill, declaring that “in the 1980s the Student Government was a central actor in demanding that the university divest from South African apartheid. 25 years later, it is a key figure in shaping a nationwide movement against occupation and war crimes around the world. Student Government can be a space to mobilize and make decisions that have a significant impact on the international community. We must utilize these spaces to engage each other about issues of justice worldwide.”

The Senate deliberation, which started Wednesday night, concluded at 3 am Thursday morning, March 18. The meeting was flooded with students, educators, and community members, which prompted the relocation of the Senate session from the Senate Chambers to a larger room. The attendees took turns making impassioned arguments for and against the bill. The diverse list of guest speakers included 76 names, ranging in age from college freshmen to Vietnam veterans. After amendments, the final bill passed on a 16-4 vote.

In addition to Israeli military action, the student initiative was motivated by an 2005 call on behalf of 171 Palestinian civil society organizations calling on "people of conscience all over the world to impose broad boycotts and implement divestment initiatives against Israel … until it fully complies with the precepts of international law."

According to Emiliano Huet-Vaughn, co-author of the bill, “this vote is an historic step in holding all state and corporate actors accountable for their violations of basic human rights. The broad cross section of the community that came out to demand our university invest ethically belies the notion that the American people will tolerate the profiting from occupation or other human rights abuses.” Student Senator Emily Carlton, co-sponsor of the bill, agreed, adding “this action will only be historic if it is repeated throughout the country and the world; I hope that student governments all over America will see in this a sign that the time to divest from war is now.”

In 2009, Hampshire College in Amherst, MA, became the first US educational institution to divest from companies directly involved in the Israeli occupation of Palestine. Hampshire College action was advocated by the group Students for Justice in Palestine, and ultimately adopted by the Board of Trustees. Today, through its Student Senate bill, UC Berkeley becomes the first large, public US institution to endorse a similar measure.

UC Berkeley Students for Justice in Palestine has been working on a divestment campaign from entities that profit from the occupation of Palestine since 2000. UC Berkeley Law Students for Justice in Palestine, founded in 2007, played a central role in researching the legal issues and the international laws pertaining to Israeli human rights violations.

Muslim Girl Charges Abercrombie & Fitch with Discrimination

No Boxed Gifts

So now that the wedding hoopla is all over, I wanted to slowly share the different things we did to make our wedding unique. Hopefully, reading the next series of posts will help guide your own planning or at least make you feel comparably sane.

Back in November I blogged about the different things I was learning while researching wedding invitation etiquette. The most controversial part about that leg of planning was the question of "no boxed gifts." Should we include that? Should we not? A lot of people, ranging from parents to friends were concerned that by not including it we would inevitably end up with multiple microwaves, and all sort of other random items.

We nonetheless chose to leave that traditional South Asian line off the wedding invitation. There were several reasons for doing this:

1) It would have looked rude to all of the non-South Asian/Arab guests.

2) We did not want to ask for gifts, which is essentially what that line does.

3) We wanted people to not feel burdened by our wedding, because while it can be easy to get somebody a great gift for even $10-15 it may not be so possible to just give that amount in cash.

4) We wanted people to be able to give us gifts from their hearts.

We did however set up two wedding registries, one at Target and another at Bed Bath & Beyond. However, there are etiquette rules about this as well.

1) Including registry inserts in wedding invitations is not proper. They can however be included with shower invitations.

2) Registry information can be given if asked about.

3) Registry information on wedding websites is allowed, so long as it is not front and center.

In case you haven't picked up on it yet, the premise for all of these rules is really only one thing: YOU CANNOT ASK FOR GIFTS.

We followed all of the rules. How did it work out?

There was a mixed bag of results. We had the traditional gift cards and cash, which were great. A lot of people bought stuff off our registry as well, so we were able to fulfill most of our household item needs. The remainder of folks went in one of two ways:

1) Non-registry items that we have no idea what to do with: think funny looking jewelry and random salad plates

2) Non-registry items that were amazing: think compost bins and cupcake stands

Would I make gift notes on my wedding invitations if I had to do it all over again? Absolutely not. It was great knowing that people could spend as much or as little money on celebrating the wedding with us as their heart desired. I would take a random swatch of fabric I may never need any day over asking guests to bring me money.

Bombs in their underwear?

Sometimes humor really is the best approach. I'm including, below, an excerpt from a conversation that took place over dinner with some folks on Monday evening.

MIL (explaining to the Grandmother-in-law's friends what I do for work): she gets interviewed for TV alot, you know whenever something happens involving Muslims. Like when the guy tried to blow up the plan with the bomb in his underwear, she was interviewed for that.

80 something elderly white lady: oh! Do you know a lot of men who walk around with bombs in their underwear?

Me: no, not exactly. Since the wedding I don't really go around checking into random men's underwear anymore.

Silence is Consent

The students at UCI were amazing last night, masha'Allah. Scattered thoughts from an email I wrote in response to a Muslim individual who objected to the protesting:

There is no singly correct way to object, or protest. Different methods are appropriate for different circumstances. Not to mention this was not the first step the students took in objecting to the appearance. From what I know of that group of students, they built up to this, they issued statements, they made their voices heard and when all else failed they caused a commotion. The speaker has free speech rights, and so do these students. I'm happy they exercised them. That doesn't even address the fact that 1) a university is an institution of learning, both inside and outside the classroom and 2) UCI is funded by Muslim students in two ways a) taxes and b) tuition. These courageous students sought to change a wrong, with their hands and their tongues, not just their hearts.

Additionally yes, if [an organization I worked with] brought the ambassador of a country that was perpetrating genocide to speak at an event it would be understandable that people would protest and disrupt the event. This would apply to any injustice [the community] sought to promote or facilitate. I have no problem saying that I'd Insha'Allah volunteer to help with the disruption; in fact, I have in the past.

I'm so tired of seeing [Muslims being the least active] around the issue of Palestine. And sometimes I think our apathy, our desire to be PC, and our selfishness (i.e. not wanting to get arrested, not wanting people to talk about us, etc.) are what crush the spirit of the youth trying to make a difference by any means necessary.

May Allah (swt) continue to grant the activists in our Ummah strength

Unprofessionalism in the Muslim Community

Unprofessional? Who? No, no, not us.

As though being late wasn’t bad enough, to top it off, you are made to feel as though the money you’ve worked for isn’t your right, and they are doing you a favor by paying you anything at all. This Islamic Organization is simply out of money at the time, and you have to wait until they get some. It coincidentally comes to your attention that some employees in higher positions had their checks issued on time and without any delay.

An Islamic school wanted you to teach 2 subjects and pay you as a quarter-time employee. Apparently if you don’t teach 4 subjects to the entire school then you will not be considered a full-time teacher (that isn’t a sarcastic remark). In addition, you were told that your pay was based on 1/4 of the full-time teacher’s pay. When you find out what that rate is, you know that it is much lower than what an actual 1/4 is. They are trying to take advantage of the fact that you are new there and don’t know anyone, or how much they make. Sadly, you do know another teacher, and you realize their dishonesty. As a result, you quit.
. . .
You start to wonder if these organizations had planned to abuse you from the get-go?

But, you haven’t done anything wrong to them, so why would they bother, then you remember Allah SWT’s Words from Surat Al-Hujuraat, “O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin.”

Is it because you are working with Muslim organizations, then your work is “Fe Sabeel Illah” – for the sake of Allah – that people pushing the boundaries shouldn’t bother you?

The short answer is, No. Because if it was, we would all be willing to sacrifice to help get things done, and more importantly to help each other. That executive would give up part of his salary to help you pay your rent on time.

Is it because this is my Muslim brother or sister I should let them fall behind on the payments?

It can’t be, because they are the ones that want you to be there on-time, every time, to work for them. They want flawless work, in a hurry, with an impossible deadline and an insane volume of work to be completed by then. This is a paid position, you were promised a paycheck in exchange for specific tasks and duties, and it is an agreement between you and your employer.

Allah SWT requires us to respect these agreements, as stated in Surat Al-Israa, “…and fulfill (every) engagement, for (every) engagement will be inquired into (on the Day of Reckoning).”

Are all employees doing right by their employers, and inherently the victims?

Of course not. Obviously both cases exist, but, unprofessionalism just breeds more unprofessionalism. The employee that slacks should be fired. The employer that mistreats their worker should loose that employee to a more deserving firm.
. . .
We have reached rock bottom when Muslims sincerely warn other Muslims against getting jobs with Muslim companies or Islamic Organizations, because of the suffering. Why should it be that in exchange for being in a so-called Islamic Environment you will face all sorts of head and eventually heartache?

I’m not writing this with the intention to bash other Muslims or talk smack about the Ummah. On the contrary, I want to point this out and have it addressed and remedied, so that it is no longer the case. I make dua’a that Allah SWT guides us all to the best of manners and etiquette, and that we are among those that take heed of good advice and follow the best of it.

Full piece at: Sumayah Hasan

She Works. They’re Happy.

While the changing economic roles of husbands and wives may take some getting used to, the shift has had a surprising effect on marital stability. Over all, the evidence shows that the shifts within marriages — men taking on more housework and women earning more outside the home — have had a positive effect, contributing to lower divorce rates and happier unions.
. . .
While it’s widely believed that a woman’s financial independence increases her risk for divorce, divorce rates in the United States tell a different story: they have fallen as women have made economic gains. The rate peaked at 23 divorces per 1,000 couples in the late 1970s, but has since dropped to fewer than 17 divorces per 1,000 couples. Today, the statistics show that typically, the more economic independence and education a woman gains, the more likely she is to stay married. And in states where fewer wives have paid jobs, divorce rates tend to be higher, according to a 2009 report from the Center for American Progress.
. . .
Men, for instance, sometimes have a hard time adjusting to a woman’s equal or greater earning power. Women, meanwhile, struggle with giving up their power at home and controlling tasks like how to dress the children or load the dishwasher.

Linda Duxbury, a professor at the Sprott School of Business at Carleton University, recalls moments in her marriage when she was hesitant to give up control. “My husband would dress our daughter for school, and I’d say, ‘Oh my God, she looks like a clown,’ ” Professor Duxbury recalled. “He would say, ‘That’s your hang-up. She’s happy in it. If you don’t like my choice, then you do it.’ ”
She added, “In many ways women are their own worst enemies — we want men to do it, but we want to tell them how they should do it.”

Men, meanwhile, can struggle with the social expectation that husbands should always be the breadwinner. The recession, among other things, has made that expectation less realistic.

“Today, men need their wives’ income,” says Joshua Coleman, a psychologist in San Francisco who wrote “The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework.” “There is an issue for men of: ‘What is my value here if I’m not bringing in money? I understand you want a communicative, empathic guy who does housework and parenting, but how much pride can I take in that?’ ”

More at: NY Times

"[Genital] Herpes is Forever"

This is going to be a messy and unorganized read. Bear with me, as I'm really just writing down my thoughts on an issue I have been mulling about since even before I met the Mr., and had an avenue in which to apply this.

I know I've been MIA for a bit, but this is an issue I have been wanting to blog about for sometime now. As some of you may know, the Mr. and I are in the middle of our wedding festivities. Yesterday, I received some good news from Kaiser Permanente. What's the good news you may ask? I was tested for STD/I's last week. Simple test, I went in for blood work and was out in 15 minutes. Yesterday, I called the advice nurse and she confirmed that I had come in negative on all of the tests.

Who cares? Everybody should! I keep hearing stories about Muslim men and women getting married, assuming their partner had a virginal past and then receiving a less than desired wedding present. I'm talking about HIV, and a gang of various other fun infections.

According to Wikipedia's page on STD/I's, a few of the possible gifts to be concerned with include:

HIV

Genital Herpes

Chlamydia

Gonorrhea

Shall I continue?

I do have a virginal past, so why the testing? Because I'm so confident in my answer, I am willing to prove it. Everybody claims they have an angelic past. What's to require a person to tell the God honest truth when asked about a pre-marital sexual history. Additionally, how does one get around the rule about not asking others to air their sins?

So the first problem, is the question. How do you ask it? Should you even ask it? Can you ensure a truthful answer?

The second problem is the answer. Assuming you received a truthful confession: if God forgives all, who are you to hold a person's sins against them? Further, even if a person has not had any sexual opportunity to contract the diseases there is still the reality that some of them can be contracted in other ways or even without actual intercourse.

My recommended solution: STD/I testing. It does a few things:

1) It saves you from having to ask uncomfortable sexual history questions

2) It ensures you are making a fully informed decision regarding what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment

3) Even if you're angelic, and your significant other claims you will be there first, still getting tested helps normalize the process for the community. We have a problem, Muslim individuals are passing STD/I's to their new spouses and by getting everybody on board to get tested we can work towards minimizing that problem.

4) People will no longer be able to get out of testing by questioning trust, if everybody is getting tested

Remember Genital Herpes is forever.

Mr. Took-His-Time

God has already written if and when each of us is finding our partner in life — neither these words nor this good fellow can be erased from our futures; the pen has been lifted, the ink has dried. We live by our own timelines and no one else’s. It’s not because you aren’t pretty enough, nice enough, smart enough, thin enough — it is not because you are not enough. It doesn’t matter how many people things didn’t work out with, it only needs to work out with one, the right one. Everyone you know can get married eons before you, but Mr. Took-His-Time will stroll into your life at exactly the moment that is perfect, because he is perfect for you, and no one else. This is neither a criticism against marrying young nor an exhortation to delay marriage. It is an appeal to my sisters to appreciate themselves before someone loves them for their true worth. Whether or whenever that is.

Read on: Spinsterhood

Top Ten Brands to Boycott

I'm slowly working on removing these products from my life. There are a few that I have conquered, but several others that I am still struggling with. I'm continuing to make an effort though.

1. AHAVA
This brand’s cosmetics are produced using salt, minerals, and mud from the Dead Sea — natural resources that are excavated from the occupied West Bank. The products themselves are manufactured in the illegal Israeli settlement Mitzpe Shalem. AHAVA is the target of CODEPINK’s “Stolen Beauty” campaign.

2. Delta Galil Industries
Israel’s largest textiles manufacturer provides clothing and underwear for such popular brands as Gap, J-Crew, J.C. Penny, Calvin Klein, Playtex, Victoria’s Secret (see #10) and many others. Its founder and chairman Dov Lautman is a close associate of former Israeli President Ehud Barak. It has also been condemned by Sweatshop Watch for its exploitation of labor in other countries such as Egypt, Jordan, and Turkey.

3. Motorola
While many of us know this brand for its stylish cellphones, did you know that it also develops and manufactures bomb fuses and missile guidance systems? Motorola components are also used in unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs or “drones”) and in communications and surveillance systems used in settlements, checkpoints, and along the 490 mile apartheid wall. The US Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation has launched the “Hang Up on Motorola” campaign.

4. L’Oreal / The Body Shop
This cosmetics and perfume company is known for its investments and manufacturing activities in Israel, including production in Migdal Haemek, the “Silicon Valley” of Israel built on the land of Palestinian village Al-Mujaydil, which was ethnically cleansed in 1948. In 1998, a representative of L’Oreal was given the Jubilee Award by Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu for strengthening the Israeli economy.

5. Dorot Garlic and Herbs
These frozen herbs that are sold at Trader Joe’s are shipped halfway around the world when they could easily be purchased locally. Trader Joe’s also sells Israeli Cous Cous and Pastures of Eden feta cheese that are made in Israel. QUIT, South Bay Mobilization, and other groups have targeted Trader Joe’s with a “Don’t Buy into Apartheid” campaign.

6. Estee Lauder
This company’s chairman Ronald Lauder is also the chairman of the Jewish National Fund, a quasi-governmental organization that was established in 1901 to acquire Palestinian land and is connected to the continued building of illegal settlements. Estee Lauder’s popular brands include Clinique, MAC, Origins, Bumble & Bumble, Aveda, fragrance lines for top designers, and many others. They have been the target of QUIT’s “Estee Slaughter Killer Products” campaign.

7. Intel
This technology company that manufactures computer processors and other hardware components employs thousands of Israelis and has exports from Israel totaling over $1 billion per year. They are one of Israel’s oldest foreign supporters, having established their first development center outside of the US in 1974 in Haifa. Al-Awda (the Palestinian Right to Return Coalition) has urged action against Intel for building a facility on the land of former village Iraq Al Manshiya, which was cleansed in 1949.

8. Sabra
This brand of hummus, baba ghanoush and other foods is co-owned by Israel’s second-largest food company The Strauss Group and Pepsico. On the “Corporate Responsibility” section of its website, The Strauss Group boasts of its relationship to the Israeli Army, offering food products and political support.

9. Sara Lee
Sara Lee holds a 30% stake in Delta Galil (see #2) and is the world’s largest clothing manufacturer, which owns or is affiliated with such brands as Hanes, Playtex, Champion, Leggs, Sara Lee Bakery, Ball Park hotdogs, Wonderbra, and many others. Similar to L’Oreal (see #4), a representative of Sara Lee received the Jubilee Award from Netanyahu for its commitment to business with Israel.

10. Victoria’s Secret
Most of Victoria’s Secret’s bras are produced by Delta Galil (see #2), and much of the cotton is also grown in Israel on confiscated Palestinian land. Victoria’s Secret has also been the target of labor rights’ groups for sourcing products from companies with labor violations, and by environmental groups for their unsustainable use of paper in producing their catalogues. That’s not sexy!

Additional information:

Bay Area Campaign to End Israeli Apartheid

More Wedding Planning Fun

1. We thought we would save money by designing and printing our invitations ourselves. We had a total of EIGHT people proofread them, and yet somehow we missed the spelling error in "Janurary." So that money we saved? It was spent on a reprint.
2. We sent 'save the date' cards to the groom's out of town relatives. The problem: they received them and didn't know who the couple was. The sending name and address was mine, and for the groom we didn't use his birth name. Waste of postage.
3. If you're not saying 'no boxed gifts' (from my culture) and you're not doing the money dance (from his culture), should you do a money tree? It was suggested by family and the wedding location's coordinator. Seems strange, risky for tacky and rude, but also possibly just new, different and fun. (What's a wedding tree? Love to Know.)

Veterans Day

I really liked this quote from Abrahim Appel re: Veterans Day:

Veterans Day should have been a day of remembering all the useless killing for every army. [It] should have been a day where we thought about the poverty and dead ends that help recruitment. How about a vetrans day where we studied post tramatic stress disorder? Or the poverty and isolation facing soldgers upon returning? We celebrate vetrans day because we dont understand it.

10 Good Reasons to Marry a Muslim

1. Cool Kids’ Names

2. In with the In-Crowd- Get with it!

2a. Diversify Your Gene Portfolio

3. Wedding of Your Dreams

4. Instant Celebrity

5. Pull the “M” Card

6. Family Drama and Not Just Yo’ Mamma

7,8,9 &10. You totally thought I was going to list something about ”multiple wives,” didn’t you? Didn’t you? Like saving on wedding expenses by doing 4 brides-in-1, or creating a dynasty of little you’s in one-quarter the time. You were just waiting for it, weren’t you?

Well, sorry, I couldn’t resist: Reasons 7,8,9, &10 = Wives 1,2,3 & 4.

Polygamy: expanding the Muslim empire since 600AD.

Laugh and read on at: ELAN

Sikh and Muslim women seek freedom to wear head coverings

Their head wear displayed a full palette of colors and patterns, and symbolized different faiths. But the two dozen Sikh and Muslim women who gathered Saturday at a Fremont community center knew their turbans and scarves had a singular effect on many others in a country where their beliefs are in the minority.

They make the women stand out as different, and to some, threatening.

"Around Sept. 11 this year, I had someone call me a terrorist," said Jasdeep Kaur, a middle-school counselor and volunteer with the Sikh Coalition in Fremont that organized Saturday's unusual joint forum with the Council on American-Islamic Relations in Santa Clara to address discrimination that women of both faiths face because of traditional religious head wear like her black dastaar turban. "We are visually standing out compared to everyone else."

More at: San Jose Mercury News

Universal Double Standards

Prostitution is illegal in Iraq. According to Mohammed, a typical prison sentence for women convicted is three to four months in jail, but their customers are rarely, if ever, arrested.

More at: War forces Iraqi mom into prostitution

May Allah (swt) forgive us for not fulfilling our responsibility of caring for Wedad, her family and the thousands of others in similar situations.

Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Some of the fun rules I've learned about wedding invitations thus far:

• Hand addressed invitations are traditional and preferred over printed labels
• Better than saying 'no children,' one should say 'adult reception'
• Always put a postage stamp on your Response card or envelope so people can drop it straight in the mail
• If it is a religious ceremony, you ask for the 'honor' of their attendance. If it is not, you ask for the 'pleasure' of their attendance
• Do not mention gifts in your wedding invitation. Apparently this is the ultimate faux pas. As one site said, 'it is a wedding invitation, not a request for gifts.' So the Muslim trend of saying 'no boxed gifts' is apparently out
• Be careful about sending out 'save the date' cards, as you are obligated to send an invitation to whoever gets one of those

Additional information at: About.com Weddings

More wedding planning adventures to come...

The Dos & Don'ts of Defending Muslim Women

(Hijab flutter: Dina Badawy)

The Don'ts:

1. Arrogance and ethnocentrism

The arrogant-but-sometimes-well-meaning “I know what’s best for you” attitude that flies in the face of respect for others’ lifestyles, worldviews, histories, and differences, and ignores or disrespects Muslim women’s personal agency. This is a major barrier and has been dubbed neo-colonialism for a good reason. Decades ago (even centuries), when the British colonized India, Egypt, Algeria, and other regions, the “I know what’s best for you” attitude was what enabled them to oppress men and women (Muslim and others) in these regions.

The idea that another person outside a Muslim woman’s communities and situations knows better about the issues she faces as a Muslim woman or as a woman of a certain ethnicity is impossible. While someone from outside my communities can offer an outsider’s perspective, s/he cannot understand my issues authoritatively enough to know them better than I. And, in constructing strategies for change, assuming someone else’s way (“Western” or secular or “progressive”) is better often ignores the fact that the secular way may not fit into a Muslim woman’s life, or a certain Western feminist model may not offer a Muslim woman constructive way to demand for the changing of laws that hurt her and her family. Refusing to believe that working within an Islamic or cultural framework can help me achieve the liberation I’m looking for isn’t fair to me—this isn’t cultural relativism, this is taking into account different forces that shape and have shaped a Muslim woman’s circumstances, and the different issues that she faces.

Furthermore, speaking for me when I did not ask you to actually takes my voice away. It is oppression just the same when a feminists does it as when, for example, a man speaks for a woman without her consent.

2. Prejudice

Often in the form of racialized Islamophobia and sexism. The refusal to listen to me or believe me when I tell you that Islam has given me wonderful things. Painting a Muslim woman’s issues as religious when they may really involve class, or patriarchal manifestations in her culture, or race. Demonizing my religion or culture in order to paint me as a victim that must be released from both of these things, no matter how much I love them or how they have positively shaped me.

3. Pity and victim construction

Specifically, the constant victim narrative that Muslim women are forced into. Assuming I am brainwashed because I identify as a Muslim, assuming every woman who wears a headscarf didn’t choose to.

Looking at a woman who involuntarily underwent female genital cutting as a victim does not empower that woman; it is often demeaning because it assumes that she can never be more than what happened to her. Pitying her because of what happened to her doesn’t empower her, either.

Looking at a woman who escaped an abusive marriage as a victim of her religion does not empower that woman. Not only does it mischaracterize the situation (it was her husband who abused her, not Islam), but also it doesn’t get her on the road to rebuilding her life.

Looking at an Iraqi woman as a victim ignores the agency she may exercise; constructing her only as a victim of war erases all her individual personality traits, her memories, and her humanity, leaving her to be nothing but part of a wretched aftermath. No human should be a wretched aftermath.

Pity doesn’t help anyone. And pitying me is just another type of oppression—just another way to construct yourself as better than I.

4. Using the wrong tools to measure liberation

Liberation is not a cookie-cutter deal. It looks different to every single woman in the world, and Muslim women are no different. There are Muslim women for whom liberation looks like a miniskirt, or a headscarf, or a university degree, or a well-paying job, or a husband, or a house, or debt wiped clean, or a divorce, or a reliable source of clean water, or opportunities for her children, or different combinations of these, etc. Forcing one model of liberation on anyone isn’t liberating; it’s just as oppressive as other paternalist or patriarchal forces in a Muslim woman’s life.

The best example of this is clothing, and the symbolizing of clothing as liberation, oftentimes equating choice of clothing with liberation. While I personally believe that women should be able to wear what they themselves want and face no cultural, religious, or other repercussions for it, assuming that changing clothing brings liberation is misguided. Clothing is a symbol of repression for a reason: it is not the cloth itself that oppresses, but the complex legal, social, and economic issues that enforce the cloth. Campaigning for Afghan women to have the right to remove their burqas will not change the issues that stand in their way and enforce a dress code.

More at AltMuslimah

Muslim Coalition Calls for Probe into FBI Shooting Death of Michigan Muslim

American Muslim Taskforce on Civil Rights and Elections asks FBI not to link case to Islam

(WASHINGTON, D.C., 10/30/09) -- The American Muslim Taskforce on Civil Rights and Elections (AMT), a coalition of major national Islamic organizations, is calling for an independent investigation into the death of Imam Luqman Ameen Abdullah, who was shot and killed by the FBI on Wednesday in Detroit during raids in which a number of individuals were arrested on charges unrelated to terrorism.

AMT is also calling on the FBI not to link the raids or the allegations against the suspects to the Islamic faith.

In a statement, the Muslim coalition said:

"It is imperative that an independent investigation of Imam Luqman Ameen Abdullah's death make public the exact circumstances in which he died. And unless the FBI has evidence linking the criminal allegations to the religious affiliation of the suspects, we ask that federal authorities stop injecting religion into this case. The unjustified linkage of this case to the faith Islam will only serve to promote an increase in existing anti-Muslim stereotyping and bias in our society."

AMT is also urging the Congressional Tri-Caucus (Black, Latino, and Asian) to call for a judicial inquiry.

In keeping with its charter, AMT works for civil rights of all Americans and plans to hold a series of meetings across the United States, culminating in a civil rights summit in Washington, D.C., to address growing civil and human rights concerns of seven to eight million American Muslims.

AMT is an umbrella organization that includes American Muslim Alliance (AMA), American Muslims for Palestine (AMP), Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), Islamic Circle of North America (ICNA), Muslim Alliance in North America (MANA), MAS-Freedom, Muslim Student Association-National (MSA-N), Muslim Ummah of North America (MUNA), and United Muslims of America (UMA). Its observer organizations include American Muslims for Civic Engagement (AMCE), Islamic Educational Council of Orange County (IECOC), the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA), and Muslim Public Affairs Council (MPAC).

Not Always Right

I'm currently loving this quote from the EEOC in a 2008 case:

The customer is not always right. Whether committed by customers, co-workers, or management, demeaning insults that target workers' national origin are completely unacceptable. The law requires management to step in and prevent this from happening.