Girls Being Force-fed For Marriage

In some countries we starve ourselves, in others we are force fed. It's tragic how irrespective of geographic location women, under the pretext of attractiveness, aren't permitted to simply be happy with their God given, unique bodies.

"In Mauritania, a woman's size indicates the amount of space she occupies in her husband's heart," said Mint Ely, head of the Association of Women Heads of Households. ''We have gone backwards. We had a Ministry of Women's Affairs. We had achieved a parliamentary quota of 20% of seats. We had female diplomats and governors. The military have set us back by decades, sending us back to our traditional roles. We no longer even have a ministry to talk to." Mauritania has suffered a series of coups since independence from France in 1960. The latest, in August last year, saw General Mohamed Ould Abdelaziz seize power after the elected president tried to sack him.

A children's rights lawyer, Fatimata M'baye, echoed Ely's pessimism. "I have never managed to bring a case in defence of a force-fed child. The politicians are scared of questioning their own traditions. Rural marriages usually take place under customary law or are overseen by a marabou (a Muslim preacher). No state official gets involved, so there is no arbiter to check on the age of the bride." Yet, she said, Mauritania had signed both international and African treaties protecting the rights of the child.

Leblouh is intimately linked to early marriage and often involves a girl of five, seven or nine being obliged to eat excessively to achieve female roundness and corpulence, so that she can be married off as young as possible. Girls from rural families are taken for leblouh at special "fattening farms" where older women, or the children's aunts or grandmothers, will administer pounded millet, camel's milk and water in quantities that make them ill. A typical daily diet for a six-year-old will include two kilos of pounded millet, mixed with two cups of butter, as well as 20 litres of camel's milk. "The fattening is done during the school holidays or in the rainy season when milk is plentiful," said M'baye. "The girl is sent away from home without understanding why. She suffers but is told that being fat will bring her happiness. Matrons use sticks which they roll on the girl's thighs, to break down tissue and hasten the process."

Other leblouh practices include a subtle form of torture - zayar - using two sticks inserted each side of a toe. When a child refuses to drink or eat, the matron squeezes the sticks together, causing great pain. A successful fattening process will see a 12-year-old weigh 80kg. "If she vomits she must drink it. By the age of 15 she will look 30," said M'baye.

Source: The Guardian

Hijab Flutter: Mansur Wadalawala

Spousal Search Strategy

Don't know what to do? Have no idea where to look? Can't overcome the trend of laughable prospects? Well, reality TV has a solution for you! The show I previously blogged about at Muslamics is making progress as it prepares to launch.

CBS is treading into potentially controversial reality TV territory again.

The network has ordered a new series from the producers of "Top Chef" that puts lovelorn singles into arranged marriages.

The show introduces four adults in the 25-45 age range who are eager to get married but have been unsuccessful in their search for a mate. Their friends and family select a spouse for them, and the newly paired couple exchange marital vows. The series follows their marriages.

The rest of the details for the project, whose early working title is "Arranged Marriage," are being kept under wraps.
...
The series order for "Marriage" shows that CBS is not shying away from reality projects that might draw a few pointed editorials in the wake of the network's previous envelope-pushing social experiment, the fall 2007 series "Kid Nation."
"Marriage" also will inevitably draw comparisons to another arranged-marriage reality show, Fox's infamous "Married by America."

The 2003 series drew fire from conservative groups, and one bachelor party scene containing pixelated nudity resulted in the Federal Communications Commission's slapping Fox stations with a $1.18 million fine (which was reduced last month to $91,000).

But CBS' project differs from the earlier show in key ways.

In "Married," couples were paired by viewers voting from home and then sequestered in a hotel to learn more about each other. CBS' "Marriage" presents itself as a documentary series about finding true love, a show that extends the Eastern tradition of an arranged marriage (where friends and family select the mate) into the West.

Another difference is that on "Married," despite the pundit outcry, nobody on the show actually ended up getting hitched. On CBS, couples will really tie the knot.

Source: Yahoo! News

I think I still have the casting call buried somewhere in my old emails. Let me know if you're interested inapplying and would like me to dig it up for you!

Lovely Wedding News Out Of Egypt

I don't have one wedding story, I have two:

CAIRO: Exasperated by the pressures of a society obsessed with marriage and the production of children, a young Egyptian woman has come to the rescue of her country's stigmatized spinsters. In the hope of changing the prejudices suffered by the unmarried and to shed light on the difficulties of being a woman in a patriarchal society, Yomna Mokhtar set up "Spinsters for Change" about six months ago.

The group came to life on the Internet's social networking website Facebook, which has become a platform for a plethora of social protests in Egypt, and the 27-year-old's group now has more than 550 members. "Society takes a very negative view of unmarried people. It puts great pressure on them and marginalizes them" if they don't marry, Mokhtar, her face framed by an Islamic headscarf, told AFP.

In the conservative country where religion is omnipresent, getting married is an obligation for Christians and Muslims alike. Islamic associations regularly organize mass weddings for those who lack the considerable funds needed for their own lavish ceremony, with the aim of avoiding so-called "deviant" behavior - extramarital relations or homosexuality. Even though they may hold down regular jobs or are studying, unmarried women in Egypt are seen as incomplete, said Mokhtar, stressing the "psychological suffering" endured by some of her single friends.

Source: Kuwait Times

AND, the best news related to the Bush shoe throwing fiasco:

An Egyptian man said Wednesday he was offering his 20-year-old daughter in marriage to Iraqi journalist Muntazer al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at U.S. President George W. Bush in Baghdad Sunday,

The daughter, Amal Saad Gumaa, said she agreed with the idea. "This is something that would honour me. I would like to live in Iraq, especially if I were attached to this hero," she told Reuters by telephone.

Her father, Saad Gumaa, said he had called Dergham, Zaidi's brother, to tell him of the offer. "I find nothing more valuable than my daughter to offer to him, and I am prepared to provide her with everything needed for marriage," he added.

Source: Yahoo! News

Arranged Marriage

I saw this animation last year. I wanted to blog it, but I think the creator had at that time disabled embedding. Anyhow, it seems she went on to the big leagues.

Just one of the problems with the marriage crisis/situation young Muslims are facing:

Related: Arranged Marriage - Trapped Between Two Cultures

Ya' Allah Protect Us From Muslim Men Like This One

How do they sleep at night? 

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - A Pakistani lawmaker defended a decision by southwestern tribesmen to bury five women alive because they wanted to choose their own husbands, telling stunned members of Parliament this week to spare him their outrage.

"These are centuries-old traditions and I will continue to defend them," Israr Ullah Zehri, who represents Baluchistan province, said Saturday. "Only those who indulge in immoral acts should be afraid."

The women, three of whom were teenagers, were first shot and then thrown into a ditch. They were still breathing as their bodies were covered with rocks and mud, according media reports and human rights activists, who said their only "crime" was that they wished to marry men of their own choosing.

Full Story: MSNBC

Desi Aunty Story

At a party on Saturday night, enjoying my last night in Southern California, I encountered a fabulous aunty. My conversation with her was so OUTRAGEOUS, that I can't help but to want to share:

Aunty: "Zahra beta, when are we going to hear your good news?"

Knowing full well what she was attempting to hint at I said "well aunty, I'm insha'Allah graduating from law school this coming May."

Aunty: "beta, thats not good enough news for us."

A Perspective on Arranged Marriages

Most Americans have sex on the third date. I married my husband after meeting him for the third time. I'm Indian, and having an arranged marriage is something that my ancient culture still thinks is a great idea.

Since the day I was born, my parents had been planning this occasion. When I was 20, they presented me with my first proposal. I found him overbearing, and I desperately hoped there would be more suitors. There were. But I passed on every Raj, Arun, and Sanjay — too fat, too boring, too short.

By age 26, after attending more than 150 weddings, I was fast approaching my "expiration date." So my parents put pressure on our community — not to mention my relatives — to find The One. They urged me to be more flexible, and I had no reason to argue. Being a spinster in Indian society is considered an embarrassment, a burden on the family. I was raised to think a smiling groom, approved and blessed by my parents, was the ultimate achievement. While Western teenagers spent summers working the cash register at the mall, I spent mine learning to sew and cook so that I could someday be a successful wife.
. . .
That's when I started to realize that I just might have the best of both worlds. I marinated my Indian marriage in the flavors of Manhattan. I kept the sari and bought the Jimmy Choos. I made fabulous curries, seasoned with spices from Dean & Deluca. And after months of enjoying decidedly non-Indian experiences of seders, Saks, and sake, I felt confident enough to direct Indian guests to a hotel, occasionally throwing in a MetroCard.

As Indian women gain financial independence, it is inevitable that we will see fewer arranged marriages — and maybe that's too bad. I firmly believe that our marriage works because it is blessed and supported by our families. The strength we get from their advice (solicited and unsolicited) helps us overcome difficult times. Had I found my own mate, I'm sure my parents would have come around, but I'd have to live knowing that they wouldn't be truly emotionally invested in the success of the marriage.

I've come to believe it's not so much how you get hitched but what you do with your relationship that matters. Although my husband doesn't always agree with his opinionated and selectively liberated wife, he openly expresses his love. Back home, couples don't even hold hands on the street. Here, well, couples do a lot more than that. India may have found me a husband, but America showed me how much fun it is to be his wife. Power to my parents for arranging this union.

Full story (i.e. the stuff in between): MSN's Lifestyle