"[Genital] Herpes is Forever"
This is going to be a messy and unorganized read. Bear with me, as I'm really just writing down my thoughts on an issue I have been mulling about since even before I met the Mr., and had an avenue in which to apply this.
Who cares? Everybody should! I keep hearing stories about Muslim men and women getting married, assuming their partner had a virginal past and then receiving a less than desired wedding present. I'm talking about HIV, and a gang of various other fun infections.
According to Wikipedia's page on STD/I's, a few of the possible gifts to be concerned with include:
HIV
Genital Herpes
Shall I continue?
I do have a virginal past, so why the testing? Because I'm so confident in my answer, I am willing to prove it. Everybody claims they have an angelic past. What's to require a person to tell the God honest truth when asked about a pre-marital sexual history. Additionally, how does one get around the rule about not asking others to air their sins?
So the first problem, is the question. How do you ask it? Should you even ask it? Can you ensure a truthful answer?
The second problem is the answer. Assuming you received a truthful confession: if God forgives all, who are you to hold a person's sins against them? Further, even if a person has not had any sexual opportunity to contract the diseases there is still the reality that some of them can be contracted in other ways or even without actual intercourse.
My recommended solution: STD/I testing. It does a few things:
1) It saves you from having to ask uncomfortable sexual history questions
2) It ensures you are making a fully informed decision regarding what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment
3) Even if you're angelic, and your significant other claims you will be there first, still getting tested helps normalize the process for the community. We have a problem, Muslim individuals are passing STD/I's to their new spouses and by getting everybody on board to get tested we can work towards minimizing that problem.
4) People will no longer be able to get out of testing by questioning trust, if everybody is getting tested
Remember Genital Herpes is forever.
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4 comments:
I totally agree. I definitely wanted to ask my now husband to get tested but chickened-out. Alhumdulillah, no infections contracted, but still, I shouldn't have taken the risk. After the fact, I asked him how he would have felt if I had asked him to do it. He said he would have probably replied, "Why don't you just ask me if I've ever had sex before?" But when when I told him the real reason for wanting to have the testing done was b/c of health concerns and not a confirmation of virginity, he was much more receptive and said he would have done it.
In any case, bravo to you for taking the first step in trying to normalize this practice. I urge anyone preparing to tie the knot to put this on their wedding prep list, despite the awkwardness that may ensue from this discussion, if framed in the right way, your partner will most likely do it.
Genital Herpes is very dangerous. It can be contracted through kissing or sexual act. One should take precautions and should see to it that his/her partner is not being affected from it. If anyone observes the symptoms of it, should immediately consult to doctor.
I knew more then a few brothers who married unwitting wives, and would have gotton out of the testing one way or another, so how do you go about that? No one would every tell them their husbands had slept around before marriage...a sad reality in this day and age. Thankfully they didn't pass anything on to their wives, but it still makes me sick.
So since you are discussing this, then what are the options for someone shopping for a spouse who has herpes from their previous spouse? Especially if that woman is, say, a convert? If dating isn't allowed, then there isn't much she can do, and she will have to not only divorce her unbelieving husband due to the rules, but then she will be stuck without the hope of finding a Muslim one, because that disclosure will kill any potential suitors before they can get to know her! Just saying food for thought....
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